I Don't Care How Rich And Successful

I Don't Care How Rich And Successful A Man Is. He's Nothing Without An Education.

My Boy Is A Mean Kid. I Came Home The Other Day And Saw Him Taping Worms To The Sidewalk, He Sits There And Watches The Birds Get Hernias. Well, Only Last Christmas I Gave Him A B-b Gun And He Gave Me A Sweatshirt With A Bulls-eye On The Back. I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, I Took Her To The Top Of The Empire State Building And Planes Started To Attack Her.

Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said To A Bartender, 'make Me A Zombie.' He Said 'god Beat Me To It.'

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Father Worked In A Bank. They Caught Him Stealing Pens.