I Don't Care How Rich And Successful

I Can't Get No Respect.

My Dog Learned How To Beg By Watching Me Through The Bedroom Door.

I Was Making Love To This Girl And She Started Crying. I Said, "are You Going To Hate Yourself In The Morning?" She Said, "no, I Hate Myself Now."

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.

I Had Plenty Of Pimples As A Kid. One Day I Fell Asleep In The Library. When I Woke Up, A Blind Man Was Reading My Face.