If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have

I Once Dated A Girl That Was Wild. She Was So Wild That One Night She Gave Her Phone Number To The Mechanical Bull.

Last Week I Told My Wife, If You Would Learn To Cook, I Could Fire The Chef. She Said, If You Could Learn To Make Love, I Could Fire The Chauffer.

What A Childhood I Had. My Parents Sent Me To A Child Psychiatrist. The Kid Didn't Help Me At All.

Life Is Full Of Temporary Situations, Ultimately Ending In A Permanent Solution.

I Figured Out I'm Bisexual. I Have Sex Twice A Year.