I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They

She Was Old Too, When She Went To School They Didn't Have History.

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.

My Wife Wants Sex In The Back Of The Car And She Wants Me To Drive.

At My Age I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.