I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They

Last Time I Tried To Make Love To My Wife Nothing Happened, So I Said To Her, 'what's The Matter, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?'

I Told My Psychiatrist That Everyone Hates Me. He Said I Was Being Ridiculous - Everyone Hasn't Met Me Yet.

I Could Tell My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

People Ask If I Can Get It Up In The Morning. I Tell Them Are You Kidding I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

I Tell Ya When I Was A Kid, All I Knew Was Rejection. My Yo-yo, It Never Came Back.