My Credit Card Company Says I Have

I Think Hair Gel Was Invented To Make It Easier To Identify Assholes From A Distance.

I'm In A Weird Position, Because I Like Rainbows, But I'm Not Gay. So Whenever I Go Out Wearing A Rainbow Shirt, I Have To Put "not Gay." But I'm Not Against Gays, So Under That I'll Have To Put "... But Supportive." It's Weird How One Group Of People Took Refracted Light. That's Very Greedy, Gays.

Vampires Probably Don't Have Great Breath.

You Are Ten Times More Likely To Get Hit By A Car When The Driver Is Aiming For You.

Whenever I Throw Caution To The Wind I Make Sure I'm Facing The Right Way So That It Doesn't Blow Back And Hit Me In My Face.