I Have A Jar At Home, And

To Remove All Credibility From What You're Saying Try Wearing Sunglasses On Your Forehead.

You Are Ten Times More Likely To Get Hit By A Car When The Driver Is Aiming For You.

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

My Favorite Fruit Is Grapes. Because With Grapes, You Always Get Another Chance. 'cause, You Know, If You Have A Crappy Apple Or A Peach, You're Stuck With That Crappy Piece Of Fruit. But If You Have A Crappy Grape, No Problem - Just Move On To The Next. 'grapes: The Fruit Of Hope.'

You Need An Audience To Help You Figure Out What's Working And What's Worth Putting On Your Album Or Your Special - Or Even Just What's Worth Touring With.