My A-number One Visceral Fear Is Speed.

Juice Cleansing Has Been All The Rage For Some Time. And I Used The Word 'rage' Advisedly; One Must Push A Violent Flood Of Liquidised Vegetables And Fruit Through One's System For At Least Three Days In Order To Perform A 'cleanse.'

The Search For One's First Professional Job Is Not Unlike A Magical Love Potion: When One Wants To Fall In Love With The Next Thing One Sees, One Generally Does.

It Takes A Level Of Creative Depression To Hear 'girls Just Wanna Have Fun' And Weep.

I Was Pretty Dorky, But There Are Tiers Of Dorkdom And I Always Had Friends, Though They Were Equally Dorky. I Was One Of Those Kids Who Contracted Cooties In The Second Grade And Then Had Cooties, Because There Wasn't A Vaccine For It. When I Was Around People, Though, I Generally Wanted To Make Them Laugh. I Told A Lot Of Stories.

A Pet Store Is A Celebration Of Dogs' Existence And An Explosion Of Options. About Cats, A Pet Store Seems To Say, 'here, We Couldn't Think Of Anything Else.' Cats Are The Hanukkah Of The Animal World In This Way. They Are Feted Quietly And Happily By A Minority, But There's Only So Much Hoopla Applicable To Them.