Background Image

Ladies. Large Masses Of Girls Are Often Prone To This Salutation. I Hate Being Mollified With This Unsolicited "ladies" Business. I Know We're All Women. I Am Conscious Of My Breasts. Do I Have To Be Conscious Of Yours As Well? Do Men Do This? Do They Go, "men: Meet For Ribs In The Shed After The Game. Keg Beer, Raw Eggs, And Death Metal Only." I Would Imagine Not.

-Sloane Crosley

Please Wait....
Translating....

Ladies. Large Masses Of Girls Are Often

Sloane Crosley

Ladies. Large Masses Of Girls Are Often Prone To This Salutation. I Hate Being Mollified With This Unsolicited "ladies" Business. I Know We're All Women. I Am Conscious Of My Breasts. Do I Have To Be Conscious Of Yours As Well? Do Men Do This? Do They Go, "men: Meet For Ribs In The Shed After The Game. Keg Beer, Raw Eggs, And Death Metal Only." I Would Imagine Not.

Views: 4

Topic

More From Sloane Crosley

I Wouldn't Want To Live In Berlin. It's Bombed Out And There's A Lot Of Techno.

Let Me Put It This Way: I Don't Feel As Settled As I Look. I Think That's True Of Everyone, Probably. Except For Beyonce And Jay-z. I Don't Think They Wake Up And Think, 'ugh, When's It Going To Work Out For Us? Why Can't We Catch A Break?' Aside From Them, I'm Pretty Sure Everyone's Life Feels A Lot Less Intentional.

I Think The Rule Of Thumb Should Be This: If You Preface A Sentence About A Friend With The Phrase, 'i Love X, But... ' More Than Once In Any Conversation, You Should Stop Hanging Out With Them.

I Was Pretty Dorky, But There Are Tiers Of Dorkdom And I Always Had Friends, Though They Were Equally Dorky. I Was One Of Those Kids Who Contracted Cooties In The Second Grade And Then Had Cooties, Because There Wasn't A Vaccine For It. When I Was Around People, Though, I Generally Wanted To Make Them Laugh. I Told A Lot Of Stories.

I Thought We Had Reached An Understanding, The Institution Of Marriage And I. Weddings Are Like The Triathalon Of Female Friendship: The Shower, The Bachelorette Party, And The Main Event. It's The Iron Woman And Most People Never Make It Through. They Fall Of Their Bikes And Choke On Ocean Water.

Trending Author

Thomas A. Edison

Luc De Clapiers

Category