Men Who Tell You They Read The

I Love Being Married. It's So Great To Find That One Special Person You Want To Annoy For The Rest Of Your Life.

At The End Of Every Year, I Add Up The Time That I Have Spent On The Phone On Hold And Subtract It From My Age. I Don't Count That Time As Really Living. I Spend More And More Time On Hold Each Year. By The Time I Die, I'm Going To Be Quite Young.

Some Women Hold Up Dresses That Are So Ugly And They Always Say The Same Thing: 'this Looks Much Better On.' On What? On Fire?

If You Buy Your Husband Or Boyfriend A Video Camera, For The First Few Weeks He Has It, Lock The Door When You Go To The Bathroom. Most Of My Husband's Early Films End With A Scream And A Flush.

I Work For Myself, Which Is Fun. Except When I Call In Sick, I Know I'm Lying.