Me And My Dad Used To Play

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

Once When I Was Lost I Asked A Policeman To Help Me Find My Parents. I Said To Him, 'do You Think We'll Ever Find Them?' He Answered, 'i Don't Know, Kid. There Are So Many Places They Can Hide.

What A Doctor I've Got - He's Really Mixed Up. Last Week, He Grabbed My Knee And Told Me To Cough. Then Hit Me In The Balls With A Hammer.

I Have Tried A Little Kinky Stuff. A Woman Called Me And Said, 'i Have Mirrors All Over My Bedroom. Bring A Bottle.' I Brought Windex.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.