Me And My Dad Used To Play

What A Childhood I Had, Why, When I Took My First Step, My Old Man Tripped Me!

I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company Sends Me 1/2 A Calendar!

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.

I Told My Wife 'hey Honey Come On, Let's Make Love Like The Old Days.' She Asked Me For 50 Bucks.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Played Hide-and-seek. They Wouldn't Even Look For Me.