Marriage Is The Chief Cause Of Divorce.

Anyone Who Says He Can See Through Women Is Missing A Lot.

I Started Smoking As Soon As I Went On The Stage. I'd Make Cigars Out Of The Morning World When I Was A Kid.

The Difference Between A Politician And A Snail Is That The Snail Leaves Its Slime Behind. Whoever Named It Necking Was A Poor Judge Of Anatomy.

Alimony Is Like Buying Hay For A Dead Horse.

I Was Married By A Judge. I Should Have Asked For A Jury.