Life Is Just A Bowl Of Pits.

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.

I Said To A Girl I'd Been Seeing, Come Home With Me, Honey, And I'll Show You Where It's At. She Said, You'd Better, Because The Last Time I Could'nt Find It.

I Once Had A Problem ... So I Tried Group Sex. Now I Have A New Problem - Who To Thank.

We Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again.

I Have Nothing But Troubles With My Car. Every Sunday I Take My Family Out For A Push.