Life Is A Joke That's Just Begun.

Saturday Afternoon, Although Occurring At Regular And Well-foreseen Intervals, Always Takes This Railway By Surprise.

Posterity Shall Know Of Me Even Less Than I Shall Know Of Posterity.

Man Is Nature's Sole Mistake.

No Good Play Is A Success; Fine Writing And High Morals Are Useless On The Stage. I Have Been Scribbling Twaddle For Thirty-five Years To Suit The Public Taste, And I Should Know.

A Popular Speaker, However Unpopular And Insignificant, Has Only To Wind Up His Speech With Half-a-dozen Lines Of Shakespeare (and To Make It Clearly Understood That They Are Shakespeare's) And He Will Sit Down Amid Thunders Of Applause.