I Am A Child Of Nature, And

To Sit In Solemn Silence On A Dull, Dark Dock In A Pestilential Prison With A Life-long Lock Awaiting The Sensation Of A Short, Sharp Shock From A Cheap And Chippy Chopper On A Big, Black Block.

No Good Play Is A Success; Fine Writing And High Morals Are Useless On The Stage. I Have Been Scribbling Twaddle For Thirty-five Years To Suit The Public Taste, And I Should Know.

Bind Up Their Wounds - But Look The Other Way.

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-general, I've Information Vegetable, Animal, And Mineral, I Know The Kings Of England, And I Quote The Fights Historical, From Marathon To Waterloo, In Order Categorical.

A Policeman's Lot Is Not A Happy One