Let No Man's Deathbed Be A Futon.

As Soon As I Jumped Out Of The Airplane, I Realized I Had Forgotten My Parachute. Thank God We Were Still On The Runway.

'sort Of' Is Such A Harmless Thing To Say... Sort Of. It's Just A Filler. Sort Of... It Doesn't Really Mean Anything. But After Certain Things, Sort Of Means Everything. Like... After "i Love You"... Or "you're Going To Live."

You Can Make A Very Heavy And Kind Of Dangerous 3-way Shot Glass Out Of A Bowling Ball.

I'm A Body Builder, But I Don't Use Weights. I Use Snacks. It's Kind Of A Different Building Process.

Siamese Twins Are Interesting Because They Are The Only People Who Can Write A Biography And An Autobiography At The Same Time.