There's A Store In My Neighborhood Called

Whenever I See An Autobiography For Sale In The Book Store I Just Flip To The About The Author Section. I'm Like, "done, Next!"

I Want To Launch A Globe Into Space Just To Mess With The Astronauts.

I Think That When You Get Dressed In The Morning, Sometimes You're Really Making A Decision About Your Behavior For The Day. Like If You Put On Flipflops, You're Saying: 'hope I Don't Get Chased Today.' 'be Nice To People In Sneakers.'

The Chances Of Someone Who Looks Like Jesus Having Pot Raises Steadily, To A Point. If The Guy Is On A Cross You May Have The Wrong Guy.

The Comedians I Liked Were Bill Cosby And Steven Wright, Like Just Always As A Comedic Actor. I Always Liked Gary Larson, Who's Really Funny For A Cartoonist, Obviously.