Last Year My Birthday Cake Looked Like

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.

With Sex My Wife Thinks Twice Before She Turns Me Down. Yeah, Once In The Morning And Once At Night.

What A Childhood I Had. Once On My Birthday My Ol' Man Gave Me A Bat. The First Day I Played With It, It Flew Away.

I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me, The Only Thing The Parrot Knows How To Say Is, Quick Out The Window.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. I Asked Him, "how Can I Get My Kite In The Air?" He Told Me To Run Off A Cliff.