Know What I Mean? Eh, Eh, Nudge

You Could Write A Joke In The Pub At Lunchtime And Watch It Performed On Television That Evening.

I Won't Read Scripts Because I Have A Limited Amount Of Time. Why Should I Help Other People Do Lame Stuff When I Can Just Go Out And Put On Lame Stuff Of My Own?

I'm Not Really A Celebrity; I'm Just Vestigially Left Over From Doing Stuff From Before.

I Don't Necessarily Know Much About Comedy, I Don't Spend A Lot Of Time Watching It. Mainly Because All My Life For About 50 Years I've Had Comedy.

I Used To Collect Persian Rugs And Real Estate - You Should Be Able To Walk On And Live In Your Money. I Had To Give Up The Rugs Because I'm Allergic To Mould.