I've Upped My Standards. Now, Up Yours.

I've Been On The Campaign Trail So Long, Some Of My Wine Has Turned To Vinegar.

A Gun Is A Necessity. Who Knows If You're Walking Down A Street And You Spot A Moose?

The Last Few Years Of My Life Have Been A Little Like A Long Ride In A Poop De Ville With The Bottom Down.

Now That My Wine Has Been Served In The White House, Why Not Me? Who Could Talk To Farmers Better Than I? Somebody Even Asked Me The Other Day If I Had Anything In My Platform About Taxes. 'hell Yes,' I Said. 'great State. But I Wouldn't Want To Live There.'

I'm Often Asked Why I Travel Around The Country Talking Politics. Is It For Humanitarian Reasons, Community Spirit, Or Is It For The Money, The Limousines Or The Girls? The Answers Are: No, No, Yes Yes Yes!