I've Decided That Perhaps I'm Bulimic And

When We Save The Rain Forest, The Polar Bear, And Al Gore, We Should Party So Hard That Canada Calls The Cops On Us For Noise.

My Problem, I Try To Teach My Kids To Eat Healthy Food. But You Get A Cantaloupe, And You Don't Know When It's Going To Come Of Age. You Have No Idea - That Period Between When It's Like, Hard As A Rock To When It's Smushy Inside, Is About Ten Minutes.

I Like To Work On New Year's Eve. It Has A Nice Spirit; A Nice Feel About It. If You Are All About The 'year-end' Thing At All, Then Laughing With Fellow Human Beings Is A Great Way To Start The New Year.

I'm Thankful For Sarah Palin's Vice Presidential Bid, Which Taught Us That Alaska Is Not In A Box Off The Coast Of California.

I Get In Fewer Arguments When I'm Alone.