I Get In Fewer Arguments When I'm

My Mom Is One Of Those Really Angry Moms Who Gets Mad At Absolutely Everything. Once When I Was A Little Kid, I Accidentally Knocked A Flintstones Glass Off The Kitchen Table. She Said, 'well, Dammit, We Can't Have Nice Things.'

I Get The First Flight Out From Anywhere I Am Because I Have To Come Home To My Kids.

Once I Was Gone For A Month And I Was Just Miserable, So I Flew Back From Florida For Two Hours Just To Be Home And See My Cats.

The Problem With Cats Is That They Get The Exact Same Look On Their Face Whether They See A Moth Or An Axe-murderer.

I Think We Need A 12-step Group For Non-stop Talkers. We're Going To Call It On And On Anon.