I've Been On The Whisky Diet -

I Used To Be Indecisive But Now I Am Not Quite Sure

A Man Goes To A Fancy Dress Party Dressed Only In His Y-fronts. A Woman Comes Up To Him And Says "what Are You Supposed To Be?" The Man Says "a Premature Ejaculation." "what?" Says The Woman. The Man Explains "i've Just Come In My Pants."

Two Peanuts Walk Into A Rather Rough Bar, Not Looking For Any Trouble. Unfortunately, One Was A Salted.

I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other Day. He Wasn't Very Happy.

And An Airplane Of Spittle Dived Into The Sea, There Were No Salivas.