I've Been On The Whisky Diet -

Our Ice Cream Man Was Found Lying On The Floor Of His Van Covered With Hundreds And Thousands. Police Say That He Topped Himself.

A Man Walked Into The Doctor's, The Doctor Said 'i Haven't Seen You In A Long Time' The Man Replied, 'i Know I've Been Ill'.

Last Night I Dreamt I Ate A Ten Pound Marshmallow. When I Woke Up The Pillow Was Gone.

I Went Into A French Restaraunt And Asked The Waiter, 'have You Got Frog's Legs?' He Said, 'yes,' So I Said, 'well Hop Into The Kitchen And Get Me A Cheese Sandwich.'

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".