I've Been On The Whisky Diet -

A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A Bowl Of Muesli. A Strong Currant Pulled Him In.

I Went Into A French Restaraunt And Asked The Waiter, 'have You Got Frog's Legs?' He Said, 'yes,' So I Said, 'well Hop Into The Kitchen And Get Me A Cheese Sandwich.'

I Cleaned The Attic With The Wife The Other Day. Now I Can't Get The Cobwebs Out Of Her Hair.

I've Been On The Whisky Diet - I've Already Lost Three Days!

A Man Came Round In Hospital After A Serious Accident. He Shouted, "doctor, Doctor, I Can't Feel My Legs!" The Doctor Replied, "i Know You Can't, I Had To Amputate Your Arms"