Doctor, I Can't Pronounce My F's, T's

So I Went To The Doctor's Yesterday. He Said, "what Appears To Be The Problem?" I Said, "i Keep Having This Dream, Night After Night, Beautiful Girls Rushing Towards Me And I Keep Pushing Them Away." He Said, "how Can I Help?" I Said: "break My Arms."

Went To The Corner Shop - Bought 4 Corners.

I Went To The Doctors The Other Day And I Said, 'have You Got Anything For Wind?' So He Gave Me A Kite.

He Said 'i'm Going To Chop Off The Bottom Of One Of Your Trouser Legs And Put It In A Library. I Thought, "that's A Turn-up For The Books".

Well, My Wife And I Were Married In A Toilet - It Was A Marriage Of Convenience!