I Went To The Dentist. He Said

I Cleaned The Attic With The Wife The Other Day. Now I Can't Get The Cobwebs Out Of Her Hair.

Police Arrested Two Kids Yesterday, One Was Drinking Battery Acid, The Other Was Eating Fireworks. They Charged One And Let The Other One Off.

I Went Into A Butchers And I Said, 'i'll Have A Pound Of Sausages. 'he Said, 'i'm Very Sorry, Sir, We Only Serve Kilos In Here. 'i Said, 'okay Then I'll Have A Pound Of Kilos.'

I Went To Buy Some Camouflage Trousers The Other Day But I Couldn’t Find Any.

I've Been On The Whisky Diet - I've Already Lost Three Days!