A Jump Lead Walks Into A Bar.

And The Back Of His Anorak Was Leaping Up And Down, And People Were Chucking Money To Him. I Said 'do You Earn A Living Doing That?' He Said 'yes, This My Livelihood.'

So A Man Jumps Into A Taxi And Says "king Arthur's Close" And The Taxi Driver Says, "don't Worry We'll Lose Him At The Next Lights".

So I Rang Up A Local Building Firm, I Said 'i Want A Skip Outside My House.' He Said 'i'm Not Stopping You.'

A Blind Bloke Walks Into A Shop With A Guide Dog. He Picks The Dog Up And Starts Swinging It Around His Head. Alarmed, A Shop Assistant Calls Out: 'can I Help, Sir?' 'no Thanks,' Says The Blind Bloke. 'just Looking.'

So I Was In Tesco's And I Saw This Man And Woman Wrapped In A Barcode. I Said "are You Two An Item?"