So I Said To This Train Driver

I Had A Meal Last Night. I Ordered Everything In French, Surprised Everybody. It Was A Chinese Restaurant. I Said To This Chinese Waiter, 'look, This Chicken I Got Here Is Cold.' He Said, 'it Should Be, It's Been Dead Two Weeks.'

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.

Last Night I Dreamt I Ate A Ten Pound Marshmallow. When I Woke Up The Pillow Was Gone.

A Man Walks Into Doctor's Office. "what Seems To Be The Problem?" Asks The Doc. "it's ... Um ... Well ... I Have Five Penises." Replies The Man. "blimey!" Says The Doctor, "how Do Your Trousers Fit?" "like A Glove."

You Know, Somebody Actually Complimented Me On My Driving Today. They Left A Little Note On The Windscreen, It Said 'parking Fine.'