I've Always Liked Cops, As Much As

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.

I Think Jersey Stands Alone, And Because I'm From Jersey, I Never Make Fun Of Where People Are From. I'll Make Fun Of What They Look Like, But I'll Never Make Fun Of Where They Are From. Jersey Is Special.

Maybe I'm Corny, But I'm A Big Believer In Second Chances.

My Parents Passed Away When I Was A Teenager, So I Had To Learn Different Survival Techniques, I Think, In Comedy. You Know, Using Comedy As A Pressure Release, As A Release Valve In Life Really Kept My Sanity.

Ninety Percent Of All Prisoners In All Jails Get Out Some Day. So Why Not Give Them A Little Levity In What's Otherwise A Very Dark Life?