I Would Vote For You For President

Life Is Tough, And If We Don't Laugh, We're Going To - Our Head Will Explode.

You Know, Sometimes I Worry, You Know, Is Comedy And My Type Of Comedy Going To Get Stale? Is It Going To Be So Offensive That It Becomes Uninteresting Or So Niche That I Don't Have An Audience Anymore? But It Keeps Getting Bigger And Bigger And Bigger, Where Roasting Now Is A Movement. These Roasts Are On In India, In Mexico.

My Life And My Career Have Been A Series Of Happy And Not So Happy Accidents.

Charlie Sheen Is To Stand-up What Larry Flynt Is To Standing Up.

My Best Friend Is Disabled. There's Nothing He Hates More Than Being Left Out Of The Jokes, To Be Treated With Kid Gloves. That's The Insult.