It's Weird The Way "finger Puppet" Sounds

My Plumbing Is All Screwed Up. Because It Turns Out, I Do Not Own A Garbage Disposal.

You Always Hear About The Guy Who Was Raised By Wolves. You Never Hear About The Guy Who Was Raised By The Guy Who Was Raised By Wolves. The Problem Is, You Have A Non-wolf Imparting Wolf Teachings.

I Wanna See A Snake Eat Spaghetti.

A Sports Bar Is A Way To Take A Bar And Fill It With Even More Annoying People Than Usual.

I Like Fruit Baskets Because It Gives You The Ability To Mail Someone A Piece Of Fruit Without Appearing Insane. Like, If Someone Just Mailed You An Apple You'd Be Like, 'huh? What The Hell Is This?' But If It's In A Fruit Basket You're Like, 'this Is Nice!'