It's Nice To Be The Best, But

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. When He Took Me Hunting He Gave Me A Three Minute Head Start. Then On The Way Home He Tied Me To The Fender And Put The Deer In The Car.

A Homeless Guy Came Up To Me On The Street, Said He Hadn't Eaten In Four Days. I Told Him, "man, I Wish I Had Your Willpower.

It Would Be Great If People Never Got Angry At Someone For Doing Something They've Done Themselves.

I Recently Had Double-bypass Surgery. As They Wheel You In, The Doctor Always Gives You A Last Look. You Know That Look. That Look Of Confidence To Make You Feel Good. I Always Say To Every Doctor, If I Don't Make It, I'll Never Know It.

To Me, Viagra Is The Same As Disneyland. You Wait An Hour For A Two-minute Ride.