Life's A Short Trip. You'll Find Out.

I Once Dated A Girl That Was Wild. She Was So Wild That One Night She Gave Her Phone Number To The Mechanical Bull.

Comedy Is A Camouflage For Depression.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.

If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have No Sex Life At All.

My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge Club... I Jump Off Next Tuesday.