It's Morally Wrong To Allow A Sucker

The Advantages Of Whiskey Over Dogs Are Legion. Whiskey Does Not Need To Be Periodically Wormed, It Does Not Need To Be Fed, It Never Requires A Special Kennel, It Has No Toenails To Be Clipped Or Coat To Be Stripped. Whiskey Sits Quietly In Its Special Nook Until You Want It. True, Whiskey Has A Nasty Habit Of Running Out, But Then So Does A Dog.

When Asked To Borrow Money: "i'll See What My Lawyer Says. . . . And If He Says Yes, I'll Get Another Lawyer.

This Job Will Drive Me To Drink, And For That Reason, I Will Be Eternally Grateful.

I Don't Have To Attend Every Argument I'm Invited To.

Remember, A Dead Fish Can Float Downstream, But It Takes A Live One To Swim Upstream.