It's Hard To Be Happy For Someone

When You Hand Someone A Camera, Why Do They Act Like You Just Asked Them To Dissemble A Bomb? They Take It And They're Like, 'what Do I Do ... I Don't Really ... Ha-huh ...' Yeah, It's The Button On The Top Right Where It Always Is Since The Beginning Of #*@! Time!

When A Guy Says "i Have No Idea What You're Talking About" It Means "i'm Thinking Of Exactly What You're Saying I Did While I Lie To You."

I Love Singing Along To The Radio While I'm Riding In The Back Of A Squad Car.

I Always Thought That If I Got No Love At All Early In My Standup Career, Or I Was God Awful, I Thought I'd Get Into Psychology.

I Think That People Who Do Enjoy My Stand-up Comedy And The People Who Get It And The People Who Are Taken In By It, They See That I'm A Guy That Has Love Of The Game.