It's Hard To Be Happy For Someone

If You're 1 Of The 3 Girls In Pics With A Greaseball Whose Arms Are Around You At A Club You Lose At Life. If You're The Greaseball You Win.

My Real First Job Was Delivering Newspapers With I Was 15. I Would Ride My Bike Around And Chuck Papers At People's Houses. The Thing That Sucked Is When I Would Go Collecting Everyone Acted Like They Were Not Home. Totally Sucked But Because I Could Control The Weather I Showered Trashcan Size Hail Down On Their Homes Until They Were Completely Decimated.

I'm Curious By Individuals That Embrace Half A Story So They Can Justify How Incomplete They Feel About Their Own Self Worth.

When You Are Doing Stand-up Comedy, You Are The Writer, Producer, Director, Sometimes Bouncer.

I Was Not A Silly Kid Or Outgoing. In Fact, I Suffered From Quite A Bit Of Anxiety. I Used To Have Panic Attacks When I Was A Teenager, Really Incapacitating Moments, Because I Had Some Phobias.