The Little Boy Inside Of All Us

When People Refer To 'back In The Day,' It Was A Wednesday. Just A Little Fun Fact For You.

A Couple Of Days Back, I Got Into A Car Accident. Not My Fault. Even If It's Not Your Fault, The Other Person Gets Out Of Their Car And Looks At You Like It's Your Fault: Why Did You Stop At A Red Light And Let Me Hit You Doing 80!

I'm Sure That People Who Have Been Tweeting Funny Things Have Ended Up On Writing Staffs Of A Late Night Show.

We Never Had A Pool, Right. So One Summer, I Remember. My Dad, To Make Me Happy. You Know I Was Bummed Out Cause We Didn't Have The Pool. So One Summer He Bought Us This Thing. It Was Yellow, You Laid It On The Lawn, Sprayed It With The Water, Run Across. Slip N' Slide. Yeah. Would Have Been Fun If Dad Checked For Rocks Before He Laid It Down! Slip N' Bleed From The Anus They Should Have Called This Ride.

I Was Home Educated But Would Skip My Lessons To Go Hang Out At School.