The Little Boy Inside Of All Us

Losing My Mind Sounds So Pessimistic. I Prefer The Term Winning My Insanity.

I Can Do More Than Just Stand-up Comedy, And The Only Way I'll Be Able To Show That Is If I Do It Myself. Because Nobody Trusts That I Can Do It.

A Couple Of Days Back, I Got Into A Car Accident. Not My Fault. Even If It's Not Your Fault, The Other Person Gets Out Of Their Car And Looks At You Like It's Your Fault: Why Did You Stop At A Red Light And Let Me Hit You Doing 80!

Here's How You Know That You're Really Drunk: When You Get Into A Taxi Cab And You Think The Fare Is The Time.

When A Guy Says "i Have No Idea What You're Talking About" It Means "i'm Thinking Of Exactly What You're Saying I Did While I Lie To You."