It Used To Be That A Fellow

I'm Sorry To Inform You That Your 50 Year Warranty Has Expired On Your Back, Knees, And Memory. Luckily Your Lifetime Warranty On Your Heart Is Still In Effect. Of Course, That Becomes Void And Expires When You Do.

Some People Pay A Compliment As If They Expected A Receipt.

If At First You Do Succeed Don't Take Any More Chances.

Never Tell The Box-office Man That You Can't Hear Well Or He Will Sell You A Seat Where You Can't See Either.

Of All The Home Remedies, A Good Wife Is Best.