It Is Not Until You Become A

The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank.

Why Take Pride In Cooking, When They Don't Take Pride In Eating?

No Self-respecting Mother Would Run Out Of Intimidations On The Eve Of A Major Holiday.

I Learned The Importance Of A Man's Chair Early In Life. I Learned That He May Love Several Wives, Embrace Several Cars, Be True To More Than One Political Philosophy, And Be Equally Committed To Several Careers, But He Will Have Only One Comfortable Chair In His Life. I Learned It Will Be An Ugly Chair. It Will Match Nothing In The Entire House. It Will Never Wear Out.

Explain To Me How He [her Son] Can Ride A Bicycle, Run, Play Ball, Set Up A Camp, Swing, Fight A War, Swim And Race For Eight Hours ... And Has To Be Driven To The Garbage Can.