I'm Telling You That At Eight She

The Fun Of Working On The Road Means Stealing From Hotels. I've Been Doing It For So Long, I Have A Set Of Towels From The Ark.

In Life The Only Thing That You Can Expect Is The Unexpected; The Only Surprise Is A Day That Has None.

A German Sense Of Humor Is An Oxymoron.

You Know You've Reached Middle Age When You're Cautioned To Slow Down By Your Doctor, Instead Of By The Police.

I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed; Last Night I Tried To Hang Myself - But The Rope Broke.