You Know You've Reached Middle Age When

She Doesn't Understand The Concept Of Roman Numerals. She Thought We Just Fought In World War Eleven.

Want To Know Why Women Don't Blink During Foreplay? Not Enough Time.

Self-pity Shortens Your Life.

My Routines Come Out Of Total Unhappiness. My Audiences Are My Group Therapy.

A Study Says Owning A Dog Makes You 10 Years Younger. My First Thought Was To Rescue Two More, But I Don't Want To Go Through Menopause Again.