I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed;

You Know It's Time To Start Using Mouthwash When Your Dentist Leaves The Room And Sends In A Canary.

I Am So Out Of The Loop. I Am Never Honored. My Career Is Hilarious To Me. I Am Either Under The Radar Or Over The Radar.

When You Can Laugh At Yourself No One Can Ever Make A Fool Of You.

I Think We All In Comedi Business, Especially When We Reach A Certain Age, Are Divas Up To A Point. I Love When A Limousine Comes For Me, I Can't Lie About That. I Love When You Go To A Restaurant And They Say, "come This Way, Miss Rivers," And You Get A Good Table. I Love All That, The Perks That Come With The Business.

The Fashion Magazines Are Suggesting That Women Wear Clothes That Are 'age Appropriate.' For Me That Would Be A Shroud.