I Was Not An Attractive Child.

Never Floss With A Stranger.

Anyone That Says Looks Don't Count Is Lying. Of Course They Do. Even Babies Go To The Attractive Face. It's The Way Humans Work.

My Routines Come Out Of Total Unhappiness. My Audiences Are My Group Therapy.

God Always Comes Up With A Third Act Twist -- And We Won't Know Until We Die Whether The Play Was A Comedy Or A Tragedy.

I Love The Way My Life Has Fallen Into Place.