I'm Sick Of Soup Of The Day,

You Got To Always Take Advantage Of Getting Your Room Cleaned. You May Think It's Nice Not To Have Anybody In Your Room, Like Your Privacy's Not Being Invaded. But There's Nothing Like Walking Back Into A Clean Room. You've Got To Remember That.

Every Time I Go And Shave, I Assume There's Someone Else On The Planet Shaving. So I Say, 'i'm Gonna Go Shave, Too.'

Why Are There No "during" Pictures?

I Went To The Airport, I Put My Bag In The X-ray Machine, I Found Out My Bag Has Cancer. It Only Has Six More Months To Hold Stuff.

Foosball Screwed Up My Perception Of Soccer. I Though You Had To Kick The Ball And Then Spin Around And Around. I Can't Do A Back Flip, Much Less Several Simultaneously With Two Other Guys.