I Think Foosball Is A Combination Of

Kittens Play With Yarn, They Bat It Around. What They're Really Doing Is Saying, "i Can't Knit, Get This Away From Me!"

I Had The Cab Driver Drive Me Here Backwards, And The Dude Owed Me $27.50.

I Got Some Tartar Control Toothpaste. I Still Have Tartar, But That Stuff's Under Control. I Got So Much Tartar, I Don't Have To Dip My Fish Sticks In Anything. That's Actually Kind Of Gross. After That Joke, I Have To Clarify That I'm Just Joking.

I Went To A Heavy Metal Concert. The Singer Yelled Out, "how Many Of You People Feel Like Human Beings Tonight?" And Then He Said, "how Many Of You Feel Like Animals?" The Thing Is, Everyone Cheered After The Animals Part, But I Cheered After The Human Beings Part Because I Did Not Know There Was A Second Part To The Question.

I Saw A Human Pyramid Once. It Was Very Unnecessary. It Did Not Need To Exist.