I'm Not The Comic Of The Generation,

If You Take Off Your Pants And Her First Reaction Is, "awwww, Look At It...like A Little Baby Jesus." Time To Buy A Porsche.

My Day Jobs... I Knew I Was Bad At Those, So I Didn't Really Have The Confidence To Think That I Could Do Comedy. But I Knew I Hated The Day Jobs.

I Like Doing Stand-up And I Love Putting Out Tv Specials. I'm Not An Actor Though, So I Don't Really Have Much Choice In The Matter.

Why Do They Collect Garbarge At 5am? Why? It's Garbage. It's Not Going To Go Bad Again.

If You Go To Germany And Get Drunk, At Some Point You Will Try To Look Up Hitler In The Phone Book.