I'm Not For The Parties. I'm For

On The Whole I Prefer Cats To Women Because Cats Seldom If Ever Use The Word 'relationship'.

If Jesus Christ Had Run As An Independent, Rick Perry Would Have Beat Him.

We're First On Executions. We're 49th In Funding Public Education. We're In A Race With Mississippi For The Bottom, And We're Winning.

Wandering Around Back Stage At A Willie Nelson Concert Is A Bit Like Being The Parrot On The Shoulder Of The Guy Who's Running The Ferris Wheel. It's Not The Best Seat In The House, But You See Enough Lights, Action, People, And Confusion To Make You Wonder If Anybody Knows What The Hell's Going On. If You're Sitting Out Front, Of Course, It All Rolls Along As Smoothly As A German Train Schedule, But As Willie, Like Any Great Magician, Would Be The First To Point Out, The Real Show Is Never In The Center Ring. As Willie Always Says, Fortunately, We're Not In Control.

When I'm Governor... I'll Be The First Governor With A Listed Telephone Number.