If You Ain't Texan, I Ain't Got

I Was So High, I Needed A Stepladder To Scratch My Own Ass.

Now I Have A Cat. Well, That's Not Quite Accurate. A Cat And I Have Each Other.

One Thing We Are Sure Of Is There's No One Like Nelson Mandela Out There. That's Too Bad For Us.

Well, I Just Said That Jesus And I Were Both Jewish And That Neither Of Us Ever Had A Job, We Never Had A Home, We Never Married And We Traveled Around The Countryside Irritating People.

Always Respect Your Superiors, If You Have Any.