God Created Whiskey To Keep The Irish

If You Gotta Kill Two Birds, Might As Well Get Stoned.

Remember: Y'all Is Singular. All Y'all Is Plural. All Y'all's Is Plural Possessive.

What Has Six Balls And Screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.

I Was So High, I Needed A Stepladder To Scratch My Own Ass.

Most People, Of Course, Spend Their Lives Caring About The Wrong Things. The Worry About South Africa Or Nicaragua. They Spend So Much Time Finding Themselves That They Lose Their Taxicabs. They Don't See That What Kind Of Napkin You Get At A Delicatessen Is A Matter Of Much Significance In The World Today. That's Why They Don't Get Linen.