I'm Not A Good Lover, But At

If I Wasn't A Comic Or Tv Star, I Really Wanted To Be A Photojournalist.

The First Monopoly Game I Played With My Brothers, I Hated Losing So Much, I Just Had To Beat Them.

I Actually Was Worried About The Pounding, But I Actually Love Running More Than Working Out On The Elliptical. Now If I Get On The Elliptical, I Feel Like I'm Trapped.

The Best Thing About Las Vegas Is That No One Pretends To Be Responsible For Your Behavior Like They Do In The Rest Of The Country. There's No Meddling Self-righteous Liberals Or Right-wing Christian Demagogues Telling You That You Can't Do Something Fun With Your Own Time And Money. If You Can Afford It, It's Yours.

Libertarians Are Conservatives Who Still Get High.