If I Wasn't A Comic Or Tv

Listen, You Don't Know Any Better So I'll Just Tell You. You Can't Try To Save Money By Not Having The Right Beer. You Know, You Can Skip Having Medical Insurance, You Can Buy Everything You Own At A Swap Meet But The Right Beer Is What Makes Living Like This Possible.

My Cranky Cardiologist Says I'm Destined To Die In The Kitchen.

I'm Down To Earth; People Sense That And They Appreciate It.

Liquor Prohibition Led To The Rise Of Organized Crime In America, And Drug Prohibition Has Led To The Rise Of The Gang Problems We Have Now.

It Sucks Being Fat, You Know.