Libertarians Are Conservatives Who Still Get High.

I Wanted To Do A Show Based On What My Life Would Be Like If I Had Never Become A Comedian.

I Wish I Could End Every Rap Song I Didn't Like With A Buzzer.

I Learned How To Believe In Myself. Learned How To Set Goals, You Know, Self Help Books Man. I Just Read Every Single One I Can Get A Hold Of, And I Still Do.

Just Because A Guy Has A Shaved Head, Pierced Nipples, And Doesn't Have Sex With Women Doesn't Make Him Gay. It Just Makes Him Down On His Luck.

I Remember When I Took A Temp Job... So I Got A Job At A Department Store. Something Temporary To Put On My Resume, My Parents Said. Yeah... Till I Die!