I'm Not A Comedy Writer, I'm A

I Don't Ever Want To Have Kids Of My Own. But I Do Want A Lot Of Kids.

I Think My Friends Wife Has Been Banging A Black Guy. Because They Just Had A Baby. And The Baby Had A Hole In It.

Racist Dermatologists Think All Black People Have Really Bad Skin.

Silence Means They [the Audience] Are Paying Attention. Even If I Drop Bombs And They're Dead Quiet, It's Still Okay. If They Start Talking, That's When You've Lost Them.

I Can Drink Like A Fish, Or At Least, Someone Born With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.