I Come Up With My Jokes By

My Girlfriend Was Just Killed In A Car Accident. Devastating. I Can't Believe I'm Only Going To Have Sex With Her One More Time.

Mike Tyson, What Can I Say About You That Hasn’t Already Been The Title Of A Richard Pryor Album?

I Like To Read, But Otherwise I'm Just Your Average, Self-obsessed Comedian. It's Pretty Much All I Think About.

I'm Actually A Really Nice Guy, Once You Get To Blow Me.

I'm Not A Comedy Writer, I'm A Comedian, So I Only Write Stuff That I Would Want To Say.